I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
