you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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