Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Boobs are out for the taking
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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