My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
