Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
