I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
