He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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