He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
