Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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