i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
