So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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