i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
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