I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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