Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
