yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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