Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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