Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
