Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
