He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
