i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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