singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
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