I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
