Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
