I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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