We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
