Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Randomize
