I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The struggles of a small town man whore
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
