Don't you send me to vm
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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