Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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