But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
The Olympian is in my bed
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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