what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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