you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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