you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
