I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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