I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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