At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
