Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
