I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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