i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
