Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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