We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
