Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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