I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
