its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
