I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
