He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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