if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
