Soap is not a condiment
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
