This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
