some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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