wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
