I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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